how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
