I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
