Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
