Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just google imaged poop.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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