I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
