tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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