You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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