I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
