and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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