THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
