the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
