It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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