Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
