But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
