i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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