It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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