dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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