yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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