its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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