you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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