i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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