you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
