try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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