Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
