I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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