I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
