So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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