it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize