He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
