Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How does one acquire holy water?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
