I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
