I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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