yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
