omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
