yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
