What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
