margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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