Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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