Umm I'm too high to move.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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