Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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