we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
