I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
