you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
