Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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