Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
