does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize