Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
