Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
