what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it's like heaven, but drunker
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
