after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
