i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize