I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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