Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
