Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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