She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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