I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
