In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize