I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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