I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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