he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
