can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can you bring me the toilet please
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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