What did we do last night that was yellow?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
