btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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